Being Your Psychic Self

According to Simone de Beauvoir, the journey of “becoming a woman” is to walk a thin line between the transcendent and the immanent to which there is a clear distinction between the physical and the mental self. There is a pull between the role of what a woman is supposed to go through such as independence and motherhood, but also the perceived notion that is expected of them. The notion being the duplicity of women that confused men tend to archetype as a general good or bad phase. Beauvoir describes that a life in constant watch and observation leads to not only men perceiving women as a “mystery” but “women” regarding “mysteries[y] in themselves [herself].” This being the distinct separation between a woman’s physical and “psychic” self. Living in 2021, this type of mental back and forth still continuously goes on. On all technical stances, women, as a self, have total choice on whether to go one direction or the other; independence or motherhood. Although, there will always be this cultural pushback. In recent years, I’ve noticed that it’s culturally acceptable to have a grace period, such as 10 years after age 18 to have independence until leaving to become as Beauvoir would call the immanent. In this case, the immanent would fulfill those social standards despite your psychic self. It’s having kids before thirty even though your dream is to be “thirty flirty and thriving.” We should allow ourselves to normalize a culture where women could perfectly blend the physical and psychic self. Embrace the fact that family goals aren’t the only goals that a girl could hold and shouldn’t be ingrained into her childhood.