Getting Through A Quarter Life Crisis

By: Kat Cabula

“So what are you going to do after you graduate?” That is a question many Broncos hear as they approach their senior year of college (or if you’re like me, your super- senior year of college). Many of us began our journey at Cal Poly Pomona as either a freshman or a new transfer. Counselors in high school told us we would graduate in four years and finally work in a splendid career. We believed them and stepped onto campus not knowing the uncertainty that would lie ahead. That uncertainty came full force when the Covid pandemic hit in 2020. We were all sent home and continued classes in a virtual manner. The thing about staying home is that it forces you to be alone with your thoughts you brushed under the carpet become impossible to ignore...matters such as figuring out what you wanted to do after you graduated, from your bachelors and stepping into the career path of your choice. If you are like me, you grew up in a strict Asian household where the expectation of you was to become one of three things: a doctor, a lawyer, or an engineer (or accountant). “Stable jobs” that usually survive the hit of a recession. It also didn’t help that I came from a family of lawyers- 4 generations as my mother would so keenly remind me every morning. I was 14 when I told my parents I wanted to go to music school to study piano and composition. They flipped out but eventually gave in...under the pretense that I would attend law school after graduating from my bachelors in music. I attended music school and desperately tried to get out of what felt like a horrible contract. I did everything I could to impress my parents with my music competitions, scholarships, projects, and whatever I could think of. And they were happy for me, but constantly reminded me of the horror that would welcome me after CPP. There was even one semester where I had to take 20 units, work part time, and study for the LSAT. I finally reached a breaking point in March of this year. I felt like I was existing for no real reason. It was at that moment that I realized I was going through what people call a “quarter life crisis”. According to Oxford Dictionary, a crisis is defined as “the turning point of a disease when an important change takes place, indicating either recovery or death”. If I went with law school, I certainly would have taken my own life due to my sliding mental health. I decided to speak up for myself and get help mentally. Seven things that helped me get through a quarter life crisis are: 1. Getting help from a professional. Meditation and DBT therapy have helped my health tremendously by regulating my emotions

2. Journaling and doing things I actually want to do. Sometimes you need the creative space to thrive.

3. Growing my support system- never be afraid to connect and ask for help. Mentors and peers, people.

4. Be kind to yourself with self care. I have started painting my nails.

5. Get back to your roots with self honesty. I had to reconnect with why I went into music in the first place.

6. Reading Julia Cameron’s The Artist Way- you have not lived if you have not read this book.

7. Laugh. Enjoy the parts of being young and clueless.

I can’t say that I am finished with my quarter life crisis but I am certainly in a better place.