Sestina of an Anxious Heart

By Alyssa Hidalgo

It’s difficult to explain my causes of stress

to anyone on the off chance they show concern.

still, too much of that makes me uneasy

and I have to remind myself to keep breathing

all these feelings going through me make me anxious

and they all have to be addressed before they fill me with dread.

The feelings that fill me dread

the thought of my mental stability, stress

is their best friend, they are who make me anxious

about those things I can’t control. It’s cause for concern

due to the constant effect on my heart and my breathing.

Allowing me a moment of peace, only causes them to feel uneasy.

Can you just imagine that? My feelings, feel uneasy

when they allow peace instead of dread.

When I can finally steady my breathing,

they look for new sources of stress.

With new sources come new levels of concern

for myself. Will I ever not be anxious?

To feel constantly, unnecessarily anxious,

is a horrible way to live. To always be uneasy,

to have to express heightened levels of concern

for myself when those around me dread

the thought of having to deal with my stress.

I guess I will always have to be the one to monitor my breathing.

And I did just that, monitor my breathing.

I was alone for a long time. Until I found someone who knew ‘anxious’

was not a dirty word. And that it was only brought on by stress

that was out of my control. He never felt uneasy

around me and helped me push passed the dread

that was so heavily present in my chest. He was filled with concern.

Concern for me, for my breathing.

I no longer dread the waves of uneasy feelings in my chest.

because he is here to soothe the stress, I do not fear those anxious moments.